You don't know what you've lost until it's gone

I've recently just lost a close friend of mine. We talked a lot during high school and hung out on occasion throughout college, but did drift off compared to before. I'm a bit conflicted over the whole situation but I have to remind myself that this isn't about me. I'm reminded how lucky I am to have everyone else and not to take it for granted. 

Too young to deal with this...

Not in the sense where I should when I'm older either, but I'm kind of at my prime of my youth, so I shouldn't fuss over such matters.

Last week, I ended up getting into a pretty awkward situation because I told someone something in confidentiality but what I said was sent over to someone else. While the situation didn't blow up or anything.. I feel like an idiot for putting effort into a friendship with someone who didn't reciprocate. I was already doubting it, but this incident became the final straw. I did call him out for it and he didn't respond, so that speaks for itself. 

On one hand... this is such a petty thing to "fight" over and if the friendship is important enough, then I should just try to talk things through. But on the other, I'm stubborn and I am petty. 

On a final note, it peeves me a lot when people don't reciprocate the effort that I put in. But I'm probably a hypocrite when it comes to that too. I feel like I've been a lot less patient with people since coming back from Shanghai x_x I've been quite passive aggressive before, but now I'm more obvious when I'm unhappy with someone.