Disclaimer: Just going to be vague about the topic because I don't actually want to go into what it's about. But the vagueness makes it seem much more dramatic than it really is. So dw, everything is fine.
Things turned out a lot better than I had anticipated, but at the end of the day, it's the end results that matter. Yeah there's the whole experience, blah blah. But there was so much effort and feelings wasted just because of a lame shortcoming of mine. Not to mention, I'm teased by how close I actually was to achieving what I wanted. It's not the end of the world though, just disappointment.